the unknowns…


I’m not sure if you’ve figured this out about me yet, but I’m a planner. 

I like to know what’s coming, and prepare for it accordingly. 

Patience isn’t my spiritual gift. 

I’m most comfortable with security in knowing what to expect, and I don’t think I’m the only one who feels this way…

Last night the unknowns of this week ahead started to feel heavier as my head hit the pillow. (It’s when fear seems to always strike me. The ending moments of the day in the darkness.)

Will there be another surgery this week?  Will this week be the ending of  this long and difficult physical trial? How painful will tomorrow be? Will the boys be okay going through another uncertain week? How can I guard my heart? 

I was quickly reminded that there are so many hard things to wait for in this life, and so many much more difficult to bare than my own.

Waiting for results for a potential returning cancer, waiting to find out if the home you love will be taken, waiting to find out if a child’s marriage is going to end in divorce, waiting for excruciating pain to lessen, waiting to see if a loved one is going to turn the corner…

The brokenness of this world is so real around us. 

This morning I started my morning reading Psalms 27.  I’ve been reading A Shelter in the Time of Storm, which is a book written based upon the hope of this psalm for a broken world. It ends with “Wait for the Lord: be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!” 

I think it’s no accident that David repeats, “Wait for the Lord”, twice in one breath. We need to be reminded every thought during the unknown days. It’s waiting with purpose. It’s not waiting that is filled with impatience or annoyance. It’s a waiting filled with strength and courage.

This waiting isn’t without reason, and neither is yours. It’s not time wasted or lost. God can use this time in our lives to mold and shape us, as we are all the more desperate for His grace.

Today I’m praying for courage and strength for my unknowns this week, and the uncertainties you may be facing in your own struggles.


2 thoughts on "the unknowns…"

  1. Praying for your waiting this week. As a fellow planner, I understand. I’m currently reading the Jeff Goins book The In-Between: Embracing the Tension Between Now and the Next Big Thing. I’m learning that life’s most important lessons can be found in the waiting. {{hugs}}

  2. Crystal says:

    Oh Jenn, I am SUCH a planner too! I know all about that feeling of panic when you don’t know what’s coming. Hugs and prayers to you, friend.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *