On Being Brave and Having Super Powers…
For some reason, there is a misconception that birthing multiples gives you super powers. Although I think there’s so much that mothers do that is heroic in nature, I’m far from super hero status. I certainly am not superior to any of you. {This includes mother’s of one child, mother of multiples, mothers of a special needs child, mothers of children the “traditional” way, adoption moms, step moms, single moms, cancer moms, moms of grown children, expecting moms, want to be moms…did I miss anyone?}
I often get the comment, “You’re brave”, when we are out and about, and I’m not really sure how to take that.
Am I brave because I’m bringing four children into a public place?
Am I brave just for being their mother?
Am I brave because you think I’m doing something you don’t think you would have the ability (or desire) to do?
I certainly don’t feel “brave” a lot of the time. I have the same struggles that I think many of you do. I have fears. I worry too much. I don’t often rise to a challenge with confidence. I get overwhelmed when things get hairy.
I like to feel safe.
Heroism doesn’t come naturally. The only superpowers I possess come from above. Any courage, confidence, boldness, and power over fears I might display comes from my Heavenly Father. {Philipians 4:11-13} It’s His strength that I have to clothe myself in everyday (not the knee-high red boots) , because without Him I would crumble. His power is made perfect in my weakest hour. {2 Corinthians 12: 8-10}
If I was left on my own to face infertility, a quad pregnancy, the NICU, parenting 4 at a time, a job loss, or an intense physical struggle, I’m not sure where I would be. But I know that where I am now is because of His sovereign grace.
How often I forget, and try to carry the load on my own. I wrestle. I struggle. I fight. I fall.
My security and confidence should come from knowing that I don’t have to face each day on my own. No matter what challenges lie ahead in this journey – it’s not my own battle.
And that, my Friends, is where my super power strength comes from.
{Thanks to my friend, Jill, who gave me the Wonder Woman card. Right back at ya! I admire you so much!}
You are awesome, superpowers or not. 🙂 And even though you struggle like the rest of us humans, it’s so very clear that you are loving your family and leaning on God – and THAT is WONDERful. Love you!
Oh Mary, your encouragement is medicinal. <3 u.
What truth in this post! My parents are foster and adoptive parents. Whenever my mother would tell people this, they inevitably would say, “You’re a saint, I could never do that,” or “You’re going to have a lot of jewels in your crown someday.” While I know she IS going to have lots of heavenly rewards, these comments drove my normally quiet, reserved mother nuts. “Why do they do that?” she’d ask me. “Putting me up on a pedestal just gives them a good excuse for not helping me when I really, desperately need it!” My mom got tired, angry, frustrated, just like any other mother. But she rarely got encouragement or help from other women because they assumed that she was a “super mother.” It always made me sad.
I think some of them do mean well. Some of them have an honest admiration – and I’m humbled by that, but these are my children. I love them and I’m certainly not going to stop life to make things easier.
I feel for your mom. That’s most certainly must have been a hard place.
Just another lesson in not assuming that anyone has it all together, right?
Oh, they always meant well. We all knew that. But it definitely taught me not to assume everyone — even women like my mom, who did such a fantastic job on a hard task — has it together. Because of her, I try particularly hard to pay attention to women who “have it all”, to make sure and ask how they are REALLY doing. We are all in need of help from time and time, and always in need of God’s grace!
As someone about to become a foster parent I can totally hear what you are saying about your mom. But I do think there is something “brave” about stepping up to the plate when God calls.
His call can be something as simple as being intentional in our marriage and parenting. Or something as overwhelming as staring down cancer with grace or having patience with a child with special needs. Or raising 4 boys with your sanity in tact 😉
So although we aren’t brave every moment, it is pretty brave to just stand up and say, God I will take what you have thrown at me and steward it the best I can. Of course as you said we are only able to be “brave” at all because we have God backing us up.
Jill, these words are so so good. Thank you for sharing this insight!
I get “you’re brave” all the time to, which sometimes what I think they mean is “you’re crazy”, but whatever.
This is a great reminder of where my strength comes from. I needed this today.
It does come with that “Are you out of your mind, Woman?” look. Glad we’re in this motherhood gig together! You’re a great encouragement in my life!
Amen!
I get the “You’re so strong” or “You’re so brave” and it makes me feel bad. I’m not brave, I just love my special needs child, and I will always be where he needs me. He’s one of God’s Walking Talking Miracles, and I wouldn’t trade my moments with him for anything. I would rather him be surrounded by someone that loves him, especially during medical procedures, than have a bunch of strangers poking and prodding. I’m not strong, alone I’m a big blubbery wienie, but God is Strong, and we cling to Him. From the beginning God has given me Strength, and I’ve never known any different.
Cathy, thank you for sharing this! Each of us as moms have big shoes to fill and individual struggles and joys. It’s such a blessing to be able to nurture these little ones right where they are and find joy even in the difficulties! I do admire the way you are trusting God!
i love your posts..this one is so real and truthful
Thank you, Christa. You are a blessing to me.
You’re so right. We look at other people and see them doing something we don’t know how to do and think they are better than us–when in fact they are just doing what they do. What they have to do to get by.
That does not negate the fact that, friend, YOU ARE A SUPERHERO. But I hear you, I know you are walking step/step with our real Hero.
Thank you for the beautiful post!
a
ps–I love the new digs. Honestly, it’s awesome!
Amanda – Thanks for getting me and for all the ways you point me back to our true Super Hero.
In my eyes you are a super hero but I know that God walks with you every step you take. You amaze me with your strength to carry on day after day. I love you deeply. I am so proud you are the mother of my grandsons. Carry on Super Mom.
This comment blessed me deeply! Thank you so much. We are so thankful for you and the impact you are having on our boys’ lives. <3 u.
Great post Super Woman! While many of us struggle to willingly accept a label like that on an ordinary day…aren’t there days when you feel like you’ve climbed the highest mountain and wish SOMEBODY would notice? 😉 Here’s to those days!!
Barbara – I certainly have those moments too! Fist bumps to you, Super Mom!
Can I just say, i needed this right now, at this very moment.
God is speaking to me through your post.
Thank you for being a vessel.
Connie – so incredibly humbled by that comment. To God be the glory!
Powerful post. As a mommy of one, I’ve often been guilty of telling moms with more children (and one mom in particular, with 3, two and under) how do you do it all? You just do, and your circumstances dictate what feels normal to you. I still think parents with large families are amazing but i’m amazing too even if I’m “only” parenting one child :).
Miranda – Thank you for adding this. I know I’m guilty of it as well as I see moms with larger families, or special needs/health issues…God does give us grace for every circumstance. So thankful for that!
Beautiful. I needed this reminder on where to turn when struggling myself or hurting for others who are struggling with heavy things (which is the case today). Thank you.
So thankful that God can use my messiness to encourage another… Praying for you, Adele!
Well said! I have 7 kids and often I hear “that’s so great that you do that” or “I could never do that!” but God gives you strength for what you need. And I’m no super mom!!! I’m possibly different from other moms because we’re all unique. But in no way superior. Thanks for the post!
I had goosebumps reading this because it was so touching! And thank you for the reminder that we can’t do anything without Him! I’m like you & often try to be in control of everything, but your so right…when we hand it over to Him…He makes it all possible! You are inspirational to me!
I so needed to hear this today!! my boys are 2 & there are days I’m COMPLETELY overwhelmed … giving it to the Lord today 🙂