What Your Husband REALLY Wants This Valentine’s Day…

valentine's day marriage

Don’t worry, my mom reads this blog, I’m not going there. Although, I think you know your man.

Uh-hem. Moving on…

Valentine gifts for guys always seem to come up short. 

Cheesy. Trinkety. Hollow.

I’m not knocking your heart key chain, or your photo mug.  If he’s in to that kind of thing, then by all means! However, I bet you that there’s something deeper and lasting that he wants from you…

{Photo Credit}

Have you thought about what your husband really wants while you search through the aisles of a department store or peruse the candy aisle?

He wants you to trust him.  Do you believe in his pursuits?  Do you trust him with parenting your children?  Are you still depending on him “to have and to hold” or are you trying to tackle it yourself because “you know best”?

Brad and I have been tested in this area over the last year as we’ve faced financial uncertainties and pursuing new avenues for both of us. The biggest lesson I’ve learned is that increasing my trust for my Heavenly Father deepens my confidence in my provider here on earth. 

Psalm 31:24 “Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the LORD.”

He wants you to respect him. Do you use your words to uplift him and encourage or do they tear down?  How powerful our words and attitudes can be in belittling our mate’s character!

It was a revolution to me when I was engaged and sitting in a church service on marriage that revealed that respecting your husband far out weighs loving your husband.  I thought marriage was all about giving and receiving love.  I didn’t realize that this was how God created men until Ephesians 5 became a clearer picture of how honoring God and His authority is a picture of how we are to treat our mate. They deeply desire our respect more than anything on this earth.

How easy it is for negativity to take root in a marriage, and how easily it can destroy much!

Ephesians 4:29 “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”

He wants you to admire him. What first drew you to your husband?  Do you still allow yourself to be swooned by him?  Is he confident in your affection and loyalty for him?  Have you told him recently what makes him attractive to you?

Sometimes it’s so easy to get caught up in the daily struggles and routines to take the time to admire your mate. I know I get lost in my check list of daily tasks and forget to take time to thank Brad for his loyalty, his friendship, his grace, and the reasons I love him 8 years later. Take a meaningful moment today to stop and tell your husband your top 5 things that you admire about him. Write him a letter, write it on the bathroom mirror, read a card out loud.  He’ll love it more than new golf balls. I promise.

Ephesians 4:2  “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.”

He wants you to be confident in your beauty. Do you constantly point out your imperfections?  Do you find yourself changing his compliments into a self-critique? Are you allowing the signs of gravity, the battle scars of bearing children, the comparison struggle to steal joy from your relationship?

Gulp. Oh friends, how I struggle with this!  My quad mama body feels so much less than desirable, the stress of 4 babies has aged me so much, the lack of confidence that I’ve had since middle school still creeps in. But you know what? His desire is for ME!  He married ME!  Be confident in the creative masterpiece that God created you to be!

Song of Solomon 7:6 “How beautiful you are and how pleasing, my love, with your delights!”

Which one of these areas do you struggle with the most? Which area have you grown?