I’m Already Torn.

I’ve hesitated to write this post.  I feel torn about being torn, and how to describe this personal struggle. Even now there is a lump in my throat as I begin to jot down my thoughts.  However, this IS my reality, regardless of how this post is interpreted.  My heart behind blogging has been connecting with others and encouraging those in similar situations – so perhaps this will help someone someday experiencing similar circumstances by sharing my personal journey.

In an effort to not complain or draw attention to myself, there’s something I haven’t told you, or really hardly anyone.  Honestly only Brad can begin to grasp the enormity these last 3 years+ have been on my body. 

My battle happens to be a physical one.  It’s more than the exhaustion of keeping up with 4 boys, and trying to balance life’s responsibilities.  There is an incredible amount of pain that haunts my daily life. 31 weeks pregnant with quadruplets

When I delivered my boys at 32 weeks, I knew my body would never look or probably feel the same.  However, I did not anticipate a life of discouraging pain and missing out on the full potential of motherhood.  My 5’2 frame took on an incredible load, and it withstood so much more than we could have imagined.  I endured two major surgeries, my ribs were misplaced, my pelvic frame was shifted, muscles were torn, and my skin was stretched to its limit so much that it bled. 

But the gain?  So incredibly worth it. 

We took four preemie miracles home from the NICU and four years later they bring more joy to my life than I could possibly imagine. 

Would I do it all again for their lives?  In an instant!

However, I constantly deal with the side effects of what my body went through on their behalf.  Emotionally I deal with wishing I could do so many things as a mom, that my body will not allow. Because of the way my body was forced to stretch and adapt to the extremes of a quad pregnancy, my core abdominal muscles have been severely separated, thus giving very little support or strength. Without functional core muscles, my back has been forced to take on the weight and stress of life. 

It might not sound like that significant of an issue but let me walk you through a glimpse of my morning to give you an idea of the impact it has made:

  • Getting out of bed – My muscles ache and are stiff from laying. I dread moving.
  • I head straight to the shower or bathtub to get some relief with the hot water soaking my tight muscles.
  • The boys are up and I wince in pain as I dress them for the day. Tugging on a pair of pants, stretching on a sock, bending over to pick up dirty laundry – every move is noticeably painful.
  • I begin to fix them breakfast and cannot take out the trash bag that is full in fear that my back would give out for the day.
  • Breakfast clean up goes slowly as I experience constant pain in the mundane mindless tasks of wiping the table and sweeping the floor.  My back is screaming for me to sit down and it’s only 9am.
  • I fight back tears as I unload things from the washing machine to the dryer.
  • In effort to be a “fun” mom after breakfast is cleaned up, I  sit down to play a game of Chutes and Ladders on the floor. I become impatient from the pain, and I just want it to be over, rather than enjoy the moment.
  • I lay on my stomach for 20 minutes unable to do anything, because of the pain from sitting on the floor for a 1/2 hour.  I feel discouraged that this pain will most likely accompany  me the remainder of the day, just for playing a simple game on the floor.
  • It’s 10:30 am and my body feels spent, but I know I must persevere so that Brad can work and fulfill our financial responsibilities.

There are bigger things that I’m missing out on than these daily tasks; It’s the moments of motherhood that I’m missing that hurt me the most: I can’t push my boys on the swing, I can’t lift them up easily to squeeze them and tell them I love them, I cannot give them a bath, I struggle to even tuck them in at night, I can’t hold them up to show them the baby birds chirping in the nest, I have to lay on the couch and miss their squeals as they play in the sprinkler with daddy, or even miss days altogether because I cannot function (which as you can imagine effects us financially).

Blogging has become a coping strategy for the pain.  When I’m forced to rest, I’ve been at least been able to blog some of our fondest memories and post pictures we’ve treasured. 

It’s difficult, but I don’t mean to throw a pity part for myself – I have been given SO MUCH.  I have been blessed more than I could ask or imagine.  And I know that many of you deal with so much MORE. going under the knife again

After 3 years of trying to heal and cope with the pain through various treatments, physical therapy, and doctors visits I will be having surgery next Thursday. I will be having a complete abdominoplasty to reconstruct my severely separated abdominal wall, with hopes that the new support and strength will significantly lessen or rid my daily battle with pain.  In addition, this should protect my body from any long term back injuries.

It’s not an easy road ahead.  It’s one of the most intense surgeries and recoveries out there, just ask my quad mama friend, Gen, who is currently recovering from this procedure. I would love to be able to enjoy motherhood more, and close this chapter on the quad pregnancy for good.

I’m hopeful that putting my body back together will do just that. As always, your prayers and encouragement are much appreciated for the surgery and the difficult 6-8 week recovery ahead.

May God use this to glorify Him, and to strengthen our faith and dependence on Him!

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90 thoughts on "I’m Already Torn."

  1. A million hugs to you, sweetie! I am so sorry for the pain you’ve endured and what it’s kept you from enjoying fully. But, I am praying that your surgery would go perfectly and allow you to regain your strength and be able to do the activities you really want to do – be an active mom with four active boys.

  2. oh amanda says:

    Oh Jen! I’m praying for you, the doctors and your body! God made your boys, your body and He will ultimately bring the healing you need!

    Love you!

  3. Emily H says:

    Jen-
    I am sorry you’ve had to deal with this kind of pain for the past few years. You are a warrior!! :)
    I will keep your family (and especially YOU) in my prayers in the coming weeks/months! I hope your surgery is smooth sailing and that you feel like a new woman when all is said and done!!!
    If there is anything I can do, please let me know!!!
    I know the boys will take good care of you!!!
    God bless!

    Love,
    Emily :)

  4. Praying for you sweet friend! <3 you Traci

  5. megryansmom says:

    Jen, you and the entire 4-tunate family are in my prayers for a full recovery

  6. What amazes me most about you that even those that are close to you had NO IDEA! You have NEVER been a complainer and I can’t imagine all that you have endured or going through it myself. I am with everyone praying for your healing through this surgery. We will be right there with you. And don’t hesitate to lean on our strength for a time. After all, we will likely need yours at another turn. Love you!

  7. MtnGirl says:

    Jen, I pray that this surgery heals your pain and allows you to enjoy life with your four boys!

  8. Lori says:

    Bless your heart Jen…I can only imagine what your days must be like. I suffer a different type of pain but thankfully it doesn’t come every day and I don’t have 4 little boys to try to take care of when it does come. I will be praying for you and for a full and complete recovery. :-)

  9. christa sanders says:

    thanks for being truly transparent…i will be praying.

  10. Kari says:

    I have enjoyed reading your blog and am amazed at how you can keep up with 4 boys…I only have one 4 year old boy and he’s a handful! As you go through this, you and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

  11. Danielle says:

    Omg!! I am so sorry you have to deal with all of that!!! You are a very strong woman and a wonderful mom!!! I hope all goes well and you are relieved of all of the pain! :)

  12. Jen, you are awesome and amazing. Thank you for sharing your struggle with us. I am praying for you!!!! You are sweet, and not bitter, and I know that God has worked that in you…it is a beautiful testimony.
    I pray this surgery gives you some relief!!!

  13. Melody says:

    I was almost in tears reading that. As a Mom, my heart breaks for you when you say you aren’t able to do those things with your boys because of the pain :( I pray that your surgery is successful and your recovery is as quick as possible. If you ever need anything, don’t hesitate to ask. I’m just a street away.

  14. Julie says:

    Jen,
    I understood how having quads would tax your body, but had no idea to the extent of the damage it inflicted on your body. You have amazing strength and you certainly deserve to have your body back. I hope the surgery goes well and that you recover soon.
    Being a good mother also means taking care of yourself and I’m glad to hear you are doing this. You deserve to have your health back. You need to have it back to continue being the good mom you already are.
    I work with people in trying to improve their health, especially after they have lost it. It’s amazing how it is nearly impossible to enjoy life without good health and how people will pay any price to get it back. I know firsthand how pain can totally consume your life and you just want it – gone.
    I also believe whole heartedly in the power of prayer and you have a lot of people praying for you, including us.
    Please keep us updated on your progress and know you are thought of fondly and prayed for.
    Julie

  15. Wow-I bet most people aren’t aware of what a birth of multiples does to a woman’s body- I didn’t realize that. I’ll be praying for you, Jen!

  16. Traci Best says:

    Praying for a fast and smooth recovery. :)

  17. AmazingGreis says:

    Oh, Jen!

    Sending happy, healthy and fast healing surgery thoughts your way!!! I will be thinking of you LOTS!!!

    I’m sure everything will be smooth and soon enough you will be rid of the pain and back to playing with your boys.

    Let me know if you need anything.
    XOXO

  18. Krystyn says:

    Lots of prayers for an easy surgery and recovery. I know the next couple weeks will be hard, but that it will be a new lease on life with your family.

  19. Thank you for posting this! It helped me greatly. Firstly, it validified my own experience, helping me see that I am NOT the only mother to deal with post-pregnancy pains years later! Secondly, it humbled me, because I assume that I can relate to you to some extent and therefore I have a vivid image of how much more it must mean for a momma to carry four than two. My heart bleeds. I am not too familiar with the medical terms, but is this the one where they stitch the abs together? Or the one where they shorten them by cutting off the excess length? Just wanted to let you know that I am considering similar surgery for the same reasons you have listed. Lots of love to you Jen!

  20. Sarah says:

    Oh, Jen. Thanks for sharing. It makes complete and total sense. No one could ever question your gratitude for your boys and the joy you bring to raising them. I will keep your surgery and healing in prayer.

    You have a fun, joyful spirit (even when Harry Connick Jr is not involved:) and it’s so evident when visiting with you. I know that permeates (sp?) your time with your kiddos.

    Many wishes for a swift recovery and a regaining of your “you.”

    Hugs from Kansas,
    Sarah

  21. Meridith says:

    Thank you for sharing…because, yes, other people out there find comfort in your words. I am not a quad momma, but a momma to two large singletons and I will be having the same surgery a week from today. Like you, I am only 5’2″, and my surgeon was shocked I had only carried singles. Fortunately, my doctors pushed me to be proactive, and I am having surgery before my body has had to endure the pain you have suffered. My little one is only 6 weeks today, and while I am nervous about the surgery, I am much more confident in my decision now that you have shared what it might be like for me if I don’t repair my muscles. So, thank you again. My prayers will be with you as you have surgery and I will pray for a speedy recovery so you can continue to be such a wonderful mother.

  22. Crystal says:

    Oh my goodness, I had no idea! I’m so sorry for all the pain you’ve endured, but I’m excited that this surgery might help! We will all be praying for you during the next few months. Our God knows how to heal broken hearts AND broken stomachs and backs.

  23. KS Dallas says:

    As I started reading your post – my mind immediately flashed to Gen (McNulty). I follow both of your blogs. I think you are both doing the right thing! Honestly I don’t know how either of you have gone as long as you have. Best wishes and prayers as you prepare to undertake this big step. It will be worth it when you are all better! Make sure Brad keeps us all updated.

  24. Charity says:

    I am so sorry Jen! I am pretty sure that I have the same issues and am terrified of having surgery. My heart goes out to you along with many prayers!! Hoping for a speedy recovery & many pain-free years ahead!

  25. Jen H. says:

    I will definitely be praying for you! I cannot believe you have kept all of this pain and suffering silent. How hard that must have been for you. You are now covered in thousands of thoughts and prayers. You must take care of yourself first and getting this surgery sounds like exactly what God wants you to do! I pray that He will be with you during the surgery and most especially the recovery. What a wonderful blessing you have in Brad and your family who I know will be there for you and the boys every step of the way. God bless you and I will continually be praying for you. Please keep us updated! Thank you for sharing this unbelievable burden.

  26. Janet says:

    Sending prayers your way for a quick recovery.

  27. Hollee says:

    Oh Jen, I hope this brings you the relief you deserve! I will be sending you lots of positive energy!

  28. I’m so proud of you girl for getting this out there. LOVE you so much! I’m praying that this is the solution and that God will allow you to mother your boys to the fullest each and every day. :)

  29. Debbie says:

    Prayers will be coming your way from Katy Texas……I can’t imagine the pain you must be in…..Debbie

  30. Heather says:

    I will definitely be praying for you next Thursday that the surgery is a success and recovery is not too painful.

  31. Rochelle says:

    Jen,
    I’m so sorry you have endured so much and yet have said so little about your physical limitations. I pray that God will heal you quickly and that friends and family will rally around to be as helpful to you and Brad as much as possible! Prayers from Remington!!! Love, The Ward’s

  32. Mariann Martin says:

    Jen, I will most definately be praying for you and your family. May God be with the Drs and surgeons as they put your tiny body back together.

  33. Stacy C says:

    Jen,
    Your body gave your 4 handsome boys, now it’s time that you and your body reconnect – literally :). Best of luck with the surgery and recovery. Our thought and prayers are with you and your family for your complete inner healing so you can run, pick up and enjoy your family with no pain, just tears of joy and happiness.
    Best wishes!!!
    Stacy C

  34. Mandy says:

    Oh, sweet Jen! I had no idea! I too am amazed at your strength through all of this, and so convicted by your sweet attitude and beautiful smile through it all! Please know we will certainly be praying for you over the next several weeks as you heal! Sending great big prayers and hugs your way…

  35. Patty Wood says:

    Jen, I know that you know this but you are and have helped so many of your readers with your honesty and love. My prayers are with you and Brad as your journey continues. Hugs to you.

  36. Jen, I am so sorry that you also suffer this pain but with my whole heart fill it. I to struggle with day to day task and suffer the left over mess inside my body from carrying the triplets. I had multiple medical issues prior but was very stable in them and had the all clear for a pregnancy. Little did I know God’s plan was not for one baby but 4 turned 3 early on in the pregnancy. As I sit here to take a rest so I can press on in the daily task added by getting ready for a much needed vacation to my aunt’s house in sunny Florida my muscles ache and tight with pain I am beyond grateful for the gifts I have been given. I today am still as grateful plus way more than the day we found out after 12 years of infertility that God choose us to be the parents of 3 beautiful babies.

    As you head into the week before surgery and I travel to my family’s house I will pray for you in these days and the days following as well as for Bryan and the boys as you press on in the journey of motherhood.

    Your friend in Evansville and the journey of motherhood
    Love Stacey

  37. Ok dingbat! I just re read my post and put Bryan when that is Jenny B’s husband here in the Ville! We will replace the B with Brad:) Either way I am still sending many prayers for a quick recovery to you and your family.

  38. Tammy Hall says:

    Jen, I will lift you up in prayer as you have this surgery, recover and continue on with your daily life. God does know your situation, He loves you and your family dearly and wants the very best for you. I know He will continue to meet all your needs. Please know you are being prayed for daily and I can’t wait to read your success story on your blog very soon!!!!!!! Love you Jen.
    Tammy Hall

  39. Prayers for you from Colorado! May God give you peace and take away any anxiety you have about this upcoming surgery! I have a mild separation in my rectus muscles from carrying twins and I can only imagine quads! Your sweet boys are so lucky to have such a tough mama and I hope this surgery helps with your ailments!

    I am a physical therapist and just started pilates reformer classes with a former co-worker and I am the biggest advocate! I don’t know what they offer in the area but maybe 2-3 months after all is healed you can look into a local pilates reformer class. It’s all about core stability by strengthening deep abdominals, hip muscles, and pelvic floor. Just what every mama needs. Best wishes to you and your family!!!

    Shannon

  40. I have to admit, when Gen blogged about her issues, I was surprised that more of you Quad Mama’s hadn’t said the same. I can only imagine the toll a pregnancy like that takes on a body. Remembering you were shorter than Gen, I did wonder how someone smaller could endure that with less long term damage to your body. I’m glad you’ll get the help you need to put the pieces back together. I hope you’ll have lots of help afterwards to fully heal. Good luck. Sending prayers!

  41. punkinmama says:

    Oh Jen, my heart hurts for you. I pray that this surgery will be successful and recovery time will be sped up by His healing hand.

    XOXO

  42. Oh you poor thing! I know you don’t want sympathy, but WOWZERS. I should be thankful that I can *do* the ab work, right? 😉 Prayers for a successful surgery and complete recovery!

  43. Gisela says:

    Jen, I commend you for your bravery and openness and most of all for the love with which you wrote this blog post. From Boston we’ll be sending warm sweet wishes of hope and healing and recovery.

  44. Oh Jen! My heart aches for you. How horrible to be in so much pain and not able to do all that you want as a mom. As the wife of one who has suffered unbelievable back pain, I’ve watched the man I love even struggle to sit up and hug our child. I can’t imagine that being me. I can’t imagine.

    Praying for you and the doctors and your local support network.

    Much love and hugs.

  45. Suzy says:

    Been there, done that … you don’t have to justify this surgery to me! :) Praying that you will have a smooth surgery with no complications … you know you can contact me at any time with questions or just to moan about the pain. 😉 My biggest piece of advice is to follow your gut … if something feels wrong after the surgery, call the doctor! Good luck, Jen … you can do it!!

    (If anyone else wants to read about my tummy tuck, complications, and results, go here: http://four-by-two.blogspot.com/search/label/abdominoplasty.) :)

    Keep up with me, Ted, and our Fab Four at http://four-by-two.blogspot.com.

  46. Melissa says:

    I will be praying for you and your family, your doctor’s and all people involved in caring for you and your family during your recovery. The only piece of advice I have is don’t rush your recovery!

    1. Suzy says:

      I second that piece of advice!!

      Keep up with me, Ted, and our Fab Four at http://four-by-two.blogspot.com.

  47. Fran Reese says:

    I had NO idea about your distress, and feel so badly for you, Brad and the kids. Have been spending alot of prayer time for your dear parents. Ed is so struggling and it is difficult to watch. Your mother looks beautiful as usual, but I know she too worries; now maybe I know why they look distressed. Oh, Jennifer. Casting all your cares upon Him, for He careth for you. This is too big for people. This will be a God thing. I will pray that you are able to turn this over to Him. At the same time I write this to you, I am struggling with turning my grief over Sully to God myself. I know. Easier said than done. From the blog, I see already you are taking it one hour at a time. That is very wise. Calvary loves you. F.

  48. Just Shireen says:

    Oh lady, I’ll be thinking about you. I hope all goes smoothly and you have a quick recovery!

  49. Jen –
    Wow, I would have never imagined, but when you write it out, it makes complete sense.

    No justification needed, and you have my full support getting back on your feet.

    Will be very much praying for you, the doctors, your family, everyone. Thanks so much for letting us in on this journey.

  50. Carla says:

    Jen,

    You will be soo glad that you did this! I will be praying for you next Thursday. Please don’t hestitate to call if you have any problems or questions!!! Each day will get a little better.

    Carla

  51. Jen, I can’t help but sing Praises for you. Praises for God giving doctors a surgery that will help you. I deal with chronic back pain too, I also cherish naptime for that rest it gives me to get through the day, and like you I hate that feeling that all I do is gripe about it, because it’s so constant. On the other hand, there’s a light at the end of this tunnel. My son has chronic colon trouble, and he’s also going to have surgery next week too for a fairly permanent fix. I know the pain you’re in,and though it’s scary, but what a Blessing that after it gets a little bit worse, it’s going to get better. So Much Better. And that makes me happy for you, and I’m just praying this surgery gets you Painfree, and with every bit of improved health you can be that Mama that you want to be for your sweetboys. May God protect and watch over you in the coming weeks.

  52. Holly says:

    Hang in there, Jen. Good for you for taking this step. It will be so worth it!

  53. Rachel. says:

    I’ll be praying for you.

    I hope you have a speedy recovery.

  54. Elizabeth says:

    Thank you for sharing one of the more difficult parts of your story. I’ll pray for a successful surgery and recovery for you!!

  55. Drea says:

    awe wow… that sounds so hard!! I struggle with lots of lower back pain but not to this extreme. I didnt carry quads but just with one baby my abdominal area sounds very similar to yours… there are times that bending over to wash my face result in my feeling stuck hunched over from the pain in my lower back, its crazy.

    I have found during the times when it is more severe than others that seeking a chiropractor is helpful. I also have heard ACUPUNCTURE does wonders, although i have yet to try it.

    I hope your surgery goes well! Will be keeping up for sure.
    Praying too… as im sure with a surgery like that you will have to rest LOTS.

    1. I second that using a Chiropractor can help in a lot of cases. I have a great Chiropractor, who, while can’t FIX me straight out, nothing truly can; it does keep me in line enough so I don’t have to take the hearty lumberjack drugs that render me such a blithering idiot I can’t be trusted alone with my kids. Praise the Lord for all doctors, traditional and alternative that can help us with our pain!

  56. Kaia says:

    Praying that this will be successful and you will be able to live the rest of your days pain free!!

  57. Kate says:

    Oh sweet Jen,

    Praying for you lots. You’re so brave, and I just pray God will bless this surgery from start to finish to bring you complete relief! Pain + caring for kids = next to impossible. This will be what’s best for EVERYONE in the long run. My goodness friend, I can’t believe how SELFLESS you are in all the sacrifices you already have made, and now this intense surgery. Your are such a great mom to a) give these boys LIFE, and b) “fix” your body to be the best mama ever.

    Love you girl!!

  58. Debbie says:

    My prayers are with you. I know this pain will be make your life more complete. God will watch over you and take care of you. Having cronic pain can wipe you out both bodily and mentally. I know this because I have fibromyalgia. I am so happy there is something they can do to help you. Prayers and blessings.

  59. Wow, you are SO incredibly strong! I can’t imagine dealing with that kind of pain for years and years. Praying for your sweet family while you recover!!

  60. Sarah H says:

    I will be praying for you for sure! I pray that you will be restored to a place of perfect health and strength. I will also pray for peace for your spirit and family as you recover.

  61. Breanne says:

    Praying! Thank you for sharing this with us so we can pray too.

  62. Abby says:

    You will be so happy and you are in great hands. I would send you “my before” and “after pics”……. but my before pics are too scary :) Let me know if you need anything.

  63. Jen,
    I’m in tears, I had no idea. I will be praying for your quick healing. And for strength for the family.
    Hugs and kisses,
    ~Liz

  64. Simone says:

    Good luck to you, Jen! I hope this brings the relief you need and the ability to enjoy these wonderful moments with your boys. Will be thinking of you and hoping for a speedy recovery.

  65. JeninMICH says:

    Prayers for you. I am 7 weeks out from a a painful surgery and it is very difficult to realize that you indeed will get better. But you will, and remember that when you are in recovery.

  66. Staci Brown says:

    Jen,
    What a servant’s heart you have! You probably suffer through the day all the while wearing a smile on your face. You are an angel. Know that you are loved!!

    Praying for a speedy healing!
    Staci

  67. Sonya says:

    Oh dear, I had no idea you were struggling with this! I pray that the surgery is helpful and that you have a quick-recovery! I’ll be praying for you!

  68. Sending you so much love my friend – you are so brave, so strong, so beautiful – how blessed those little boys are to have such a mom – such an example of love and strength in their midst – I will be praying for you and thinking about you non-stop!

  69. ClassyMommy says:

    Thinking of you. I’m so sorry about all the pain you have to deal with and pray this difficult surgery brings relief. Scary stuff and wishing you all kinds of positive energy and a seamless recovery. xoxo

  70. Erin R says:

    I cannot even begin to imagine the pain you experience! And I’m not about to compare this to your experience, but I had to make a difficult decision about a surgery to repair some issues from my daughter’s birth. I found out 5 months ago I have what is called a rectocele. Basically, its rectal hernia that bulges into the vagina. It causes pain with intercourse, tampon use and bowel movements, well let’s just say, they suck! I felt like I was sitting on an egg. My back killed me all the time. But once I was told that I had this and looked it up online, it ALL made sense. I had never said a word to anyone about the issues, even my husband, because I thought that it all just had to do with getting older and having kids. Looking back, that thought process was ridiculous, but oh well. So, the doctor told me my stage was beyond non-surgical methods and I’d have to have it repaired. I didn’t want to have a major surgery after the AWFUL experience having my son (I developed a post-op (c-section) infection that nearly killed me) but I knew that by having the surgery I would regain the life I’d lost over the last 3-1/2 years. Despite my fears of trying to take care of two kids while recovering and the general fear of the surgery, I had the repair on 4/6. Tomorrow, I return to the doctor for my 3rd and final post-op check up. Recovery has been rough. Much rougher than I anticipated. BUT, I can honestly say, if the repair takes the way I think it has, it was well worth it. Not to be in constant pain or have issues that effect my daily functions? This was well worth it. I know that having a major surgery, as you are about to undergo is scary, but in the end, if it improves your quality of life and that of your family, it is worth it in the end. My two pieces of advice for you are as follows: 1) do not be martyr. Take your pain pills, even if you don’t think you need them. The pain sneaks up on you quickly! 2) Listen to your body. Post surgery, if you feel something isn’t right, even if it’s something little, call the doctor. I waited too long to seek medical attention the week after my son was born and I ended up in the hospital, away from him for 6 days, plus and additional 2 days in ICU…

  71. Prayers for you, Jen! I’m sorry that you’re having to do this surgery, but I hope it will bring you some of the joy that you’ve been missing out on.

  72. E. Ownby says:

    Praying for you and your family during this time. It will be worth it in the long run…difficult at first but God will give you the strength to face each new day!! Just lean on Him!!

  73. Jael says:

    Our prayers are with you, Jen, and with your family. Those boys are such a gift to you…and the same gracious God who blessed you with them can give you another miracle with this surgery! He gave those boys to YOU! He will give you what you need. You amaze me, and you have been able to influence so many through your experiences. Hang in there!

  74. Alice says:

    I’m happy to hear you’ll be able to do this! Before getting to the part that you are planning to do the surgery, I was already thinking if we could all help donate for u to get this done! I’ve had 3 kids, 1 at a time and wish I could do this… but know ppl like you need it much more!!

  75. Oh, Jenn I’ll be praying for you. My mother suffered from an autoimmune disorder when I was young and I understand the guilt and pain you must feel. This surgery will be the best thing for you and your boys. good luck and God speed.

  76. Melissa says:

    I can’t imagine parenting those sweet boys with chronic pain! I will be praying for a successful surgery and speedy recovery!!

  77. Lana says:

    I think this is a great decision. Age is my factor. I just turned 49 and have 6 & 8 year old girls to keep up with. I just keep taking vitamins and praying I will stay youthful as long as possible. Good luck! I am sure you have a great network of supportive friends and family to see you through this. We mommas do all we can for our kids, and sometimes that even means taking care of ourselves!

  78. Lauren Green says:

    Good for you! I think you MORE than deserve this! Like you said, your body has endured so so much and it sounds like this surgery will improve your quality of life so so much. Go for it. I am behind you 100%. I will keep you in my prayers as you begin the log road to recovery.

    xoxo
    Lauren

  79. I will be undergoing this surgery soon, too. I have diastasis recti, an umbilical hernia, and back pain I never EVER considered was related to the hole in my stomach muscles. I can’t have this surgery until I’m finished breastfeeding, though.

    I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers, sweetheart.

  80. Jen, I’ll be keeping you in my prayers. I understand struggling with something that makes you feel like you can’t enjoy motherhood to the fullest and when the problem is fixed, it’s such an amazing feeling. It will all be worth it. Good luck.

    Beth

  81. heather l. says:

    Jen, I had no idea you were going through all this. I am so sorry. I struggled with chronic health problems for the first six years of motherhood and I can relate to many of the feelings you share. I will be praying for you and the surgery that God might use this to give you some relief and restore your health and allow you to do more “mothering”.

  82. Bethel Ann Randall says:

    I made it through this complete surgery in Sept of 2010. I wish I had known about it when we met at Disney. My ventral hernia was complete from sternum to pelvis, with a 6 inch gap from carrying the triplets to 35 wks 5 days. The recovery is tough to say the least. But my back is doing great and once again feels like my front and my back work as a single unit. My surgery was 5 hours long, I was in the hospital for 5 days and I was delirious and could not do any child care with the triplets or my 8 year old for 2+ weeks. After the surgery of biologic mesh (approx 9×11?), external stitches from hip to pelvis to hip and internal stitches from rib to sternum to rib. I only wish the doctors’ had told me that I would feel poorly for the first 12 weeks then be able to begin my recovery. Now, 8 mo.post-op I am still in PT and they say the mesh should stay firm for 2-3 years. Fortunately, I have a great physical therapist who works the scar to break down the layers one time every week since Nov. I can now stand up straight, raise my arms and am now lifting light weights. Get a good therapist and stick with it for the first year. I am just now feeling better and even took the kids to the beach by myself for the first time since the triplets were born. Granted it was only a 1 1/2 hours but I felt really accomplished and very low pain! I am glad I had the surgery but what a tough surgery and recovery it is. God’s speed and recovery. If you need encouragement and or information just let me know! Love in Christ, BA

  83. sl says:

    Praying for you and your doctors. Praying for Brad and the boys. Praying the bouys understand and are gentle with Mom as you recovery.

  84. Stephanie says:

    Just wanted to let you know, although we don’t know each other, I have been praying for you and your famiy since the post regarding the surgery. I am friends with Stacie Vetor…… I also remember seeing your NICU commericial. My sweet nephew had an 8 week stay there as well. What an amazing place.

    I enjoy your blog and have used many of your wonderful ideas. We have been blessed 3 boys….adoption and biological! Gavin is 5, Mason 3, and Owen 3. We found out we were pregnant with Owen the day before Mason’s adoption hearing….simply confirming he was meant to be ours. Isn’t God good….

    I really enjoy how you share your faith!

    Many Blessing to you and your famiy!

  85. Donna says:

    Just wanted to pop over and let you know that we’re praying for you! Especially tomorrow! Praying for a smooth surgery and quick (miraculously quick) healing!

  86. I had NO idea. My prayers are with you, and I sincerely hope this surgery brings the relief you need to carry on and be the mommy you want to be.

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