Tackling the Comparison Struggle


Photo Credit: Ataradrac

I have been married to my beautiful wife, Jen, for 8 years this December.  I have learned so much in those years.  Women are wonderful, beautiful, amazing,…..and COMPLICATED creatures.  Can I get an AMEN from those 10 guys out there reading? 

I have also come to realize that the reason women are so complicated from a man’s vantage point is because we are made so differently.  Our culture has tried the smash the barrier between man and woman in an effort to equalize the sexes.  The outcome of this has been a tragic loss of understanding of our differences. 

I am NOT in favor of women being treated equally in our society in most cases.  Should we pay them the same for the same task?  Yes.  Should women be voting?  Yes, of course.   Should they have all the same rights?  Yes. Should they be treated the same as men?  Absolutely not!  Women are built and wired completely differently than men by our Creator God.

Men should treat women with love & respect and should always view women with a sense of awe at how God has created her with Him in mind.  This really should make us as men step back and see women for what they are, unique and amazing creatures who are fearfully and wonderfully made!  Guys should NOT treat women the same as men; they should elevate women in every case possible.

That being said, I wanted to share an observation I have made about women: Many of you struggle with a constant comparison game.  You compare your clothes, your homes, your bodies, your husbands, your children, and anything else in life.  Right?  (If you said no, you are either deceiving yourself, or God has really delivered you from a common snare.) 

I have watched my own wife struggle with some of these comparisons over the years, often tearing herself down because of it.  Thankfully, I have also watched God work in her life to deliver her from many comparison struggles. 

Jen and I have stepped back and recognized why this comparison battle is such a dangerous one for families, and committed to fighting it in ours.  We have watched friend’s marriages begin to crumble because a husband cannot live up to the expectations of a wife who’s comparing her own husband to other women’s husbands.  (The husband you think is perfect has plenty of faults you DONT see. Trust me.) 

The comparison struggle is alive and well in America. Families spend too much just to make sure their children dress as well as others, causing financial problems.  Wives don’t feel attractive because they don’t think they look as beautiful as their skinniest friend, although most men would argue that a huge part of your “looking good” comes from your confidence, rather than the size of your jeans.

I want my boys to grow up to be content men.  We can do that by stopping the comparison game and concentrate on always being thankful for what we have, who we are, and what we are like.  We as parents should not expect that our children will be anything that we are not.  So we need to demonstrate these behaviors for them.

I am thankful this Thanksgiving for a lovely wife who partners with me in the pursuit to grow godly men.  I am thankful for a God who pardons us when we get it wrong, and helps get us back on the right track.  We have much to be thankful for this year!

How has the comparison struggle affected your own relationships?